The Oath to Celibacy


Celibacy, eh?

Yes, celibacy.

Some people don’t believe, but yes, this is a decision I made for myself. I always viewed that this would be a tough thing to do, especially having sex before. I always thought that I wouldn’t be able to keep a guy if I told him that I wanted to be celibate. Men have told me, ‘there is no way you will be able to get/keep a guy and not having sex with him’. But I really wanted to be able to prove them wrong.

This is why I was probably more overjoyed that I should have when I heard of Megan Goods story and Tamara Housley… to share their story of celibacy. Probably means a lot more than some will ever know. They probably won’t even know how much really their stories mean, but I have to give them credit when credit is due. They probably gave a lot of women hope, because I know I got some! From Megan Goods perspective, before she decided to be celibate, she was having sex Im assuming. And I read an interview in an article about how she wanted to give herself to God and work on herself. She also told ESSENCE in an interview in September 2012 “One of the things I noticed right off the bat is I had more clarity, I had more self worth, I had more peace of mind and I just was a lot more relaxed and sure of myself…” This is admirable as well as inspiration to me. 

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I did realize, hey, she is right! And with my new walk with God, I needed to hear Him, better, clearer. (I actually cut out a lot more things besides sex to hear God, but sex was a major.) The last straw was when I was in a compromising position and it literally didn’t feel good anymore about doing it. Didn’t give me that pleasure. Didn’t give me the feeling that it once did. And that is how I knew. But yes, the self worth was an automatic. And, yes I am becoming more peaceful than before. Sex was allotting the wrong type of spirits and ties to come to and into me. So the new path of ‘celibacy’ I wanted to try out. To see, first, if I could do it. Then to see if I could continue it. Then even one of my homegirls told me she has been for 2 years!

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Tamara Housley shared on TV that she waited to lose her virginity until she was 29. After which she remained celibate until she was married to her husband 3 years later. What got me was that ‘she felt guilty’. Such a sweet woman and such a sweet spirit she has. (I love the twins by the way! They are such positive people in such a negative world.) But I love how she has come to the forefront and tell her story. Not I think she was trying to hide it, but just to simply give her story, as a different story. There are men who will wait! Not even that, men who honor the principle of it. I know this for a fact. 🙂

So this is my story to celibacy. Some might be with me on this, and some might not be. But I just couldn’t allow for another relationship to go through my hands and then they take a piece of me.  I want a different type of relationship. One that can teach me some new things, and upgrade me. Someone who knows my value and worth. Someone who deserves me as I him. I want to be in a relationship with I guy I can do something I never done before. And that was to not give myself to him before marriage. And I believe ‘the one’ will know and respect it.

xoxo

Amber

2 thoughts on “The Oath to Celibacy

  1. mrwrite4u says:

    After reading your post…a few words comes to mind but one that I must express is: MARVELOUS! I definitely commend and encourage you to continue! I understand your motive and I support your choice, absolutely. I believe your decision to remain celibate is an EXCELLENT decision. Your decision shows much more about you than you may realize. It shows that you have a dedication and belief in something greater than yourself and that you believe that this action of celibacy will bring you closer to that “Excellency”. It shows that you believe this choice ultimately will allow you to walk a path more perfected thus acting and reacting according to your Faith. Your faith shows you’re anticipating a closer walk with God therefore you have made personal decisions including remaining abstinent for the purpose of pleasing God. The excellency of this decision lay in the fact that you have made this decision because you believe it will be pleasing to HIM and a much more healthier Woman for you. THESE choices effectively display your true Love, Beauty and Sincerity of your heart more than any words can ever say. The Scriptures say, “Man looks on the outward appearance, but God judges the heart.” That is what is most important. It matters NOT what anyone says regarding your decision. It matters NOT how anyone else may feel about it. It matters NOT who disagrees with your choice. Truth is you are making the right decision for the right reasons. The Man that is that “Special” man for you will support and encourage your decision to remain celibate, true to your self, and true to your God. Anything less than that is unacceptable. Any Man who does not support your decision is a selfish, self seeking, sexually motivated, lust driven individual who only seeks to distract you from your purpose and walk with the Most High and does not look to help you grow in your walk. How can two walk together unless they be “One”. He is not looking for a “Long Term Investment” in you, only a quick fix. My advice is that you should use extreme caution when dealing with this individual knowing he does not have your best interest at heart. See, a Real Man who truly knows your worth, will do amazing things to obtain your Affection and Your Love. Certain Men have a determination in their DNA to never stop until they reach the prize. Truth is: most Men are satisfied with Sex, however, certain Men who have been blessed with features that attract Women fairly easy, do not hold the value of Sex as a high commodity when it is easily obtained, especially when compared to the spiritual things of God, Sex then becomes of no object and has NO COMPARISON. Certain Men desire to please God more than please themselves. You are absolutely right, sexual intercourse is as much, if not more spiritual than it is physical and if he is not looking to spend the rest of his life with you, why on earth would you compromise your position, your body and your belief for one “onlooker” who is just, “here for the moment”. God has a much better plan than that for you and your actions to hear that plan more clearer means that you are getting yourself ready for what God has for you. This is a very exciting time! I encourage you to continue your walk and continue to move forward in the path that God has placed you in and DO NOT let anyone AT ALL alter your decision. Be encouraged…

    Talk to you soon…..

    Yours Truly,

    Mr. Write

    🙂

    • misszellner says:

      Thank you so much for your words and encouragement. These are remarkable words and I truly appreciate them! I told you before, sometimes your words mean so much, and they are so encouraging that I have to express gratitude to you. This walk is not easy, but yes HE knows my heart. He knows. And I didn’t know that this piece would really read and understood as so many people said it did.! Thanks, and thank you again for reading. Until next time…

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