Quick Rant… (or what it was supposed to be anyway). 

I talked with my auntie and uncle yesterday who leaves in Clearwater to catch up with them and to see how things have been. Then as we were rambling on… we got on the topic of ‘love’ and what is really ‘love’.

My aunt said that people have a misconception about love. That the feeling of ‘wanting to be around him all the time, and lusting after him’ is not LOVE. L.O.V.E, she said, takes work. It’s tested and it is proven.

Love is worked on. Love is not ‘automatic’. It’s not an ‘automatic’ feeling. 

So strange that the day before at the ladies (B’Raw) meeting, went off the subject to Love. Everyone shared stories. And there was a seasoned lady there who shared her experience. Her past: Abuse. And she said ‘that wasn’t love’.

Paraphrased, she said “the need to want to be around him all the time isn’t love’. 

As I look back when I was 18, 20, 22…. I really thought I was in love with the men of my past. Thought I really loved them and they loved me. Hindsight is such a beautiful thing.. because I acknowledge I was never in love before. 

I’ll take the wisdom… because as I keep living, the more and more things will be revealed to me.

1 thought on “L.O.V.E.”

  1. “L.O.V.E”. A very interesting topic to discuss. As a child, I wanted to understand Love. Was “Love” just a word? Was Love just a “Figure of Speech”? What does being, “In Love” really mean? I can remember sitting in the garage having a talk with my Grandfather (RIP). I can remember laughing till water filled my eyes when he brought up the dreaded, “Birds and Bees” talk. I looked at him in his eyes and I remember saying, “Pops..um….you know this is the 20th century, I think we are kinda past birds and bees and whatnot.” He looked down at me, laughed and shook his head and then he said, ” We’ll OK then Son, Tell me what you know about Love?” I can remember looking up at his grayed haired face and I can remember replying that Love was a word that people say when they make babies…..lol. He looked at me with a smile and said, ” Son, listen, let me tell you a little secret.” I pulled up my chair, put my juice down and I was all ears. This is what he said to me: “Love IS simply just a Word, but the Key is what you do that constitutes that Love. It is what you do that makes the word Love, REAL.” Bewildered, I asked him what exactly did he mean. He looked at me with a seriousness in his eyes and he said, “True Love is displayed in how you treat someone.” He said if you say you Love someone, then you Love them unconditionally.” I asked him what unconditionally meant. He said, “It means no matter what the circumstances are in Life, no matter what transpires between you and that person, If you truly Love them, You will do whatever is necessary to ensure this special someone FEELS Loved, no matter what.” He said, “As a Man, you must prove your Love and Affection by actions, not words Son.” He said, “Sometimes, that even means sacrificing your personal needs,wants and desires in order to meet someone else’s needs, wants and desires. He said that “Real Love” is when you make a conscious choice to consider your actions and how they affect the person in whom you have Love for.” He said, “Son, When you find that Woman and you fall in Love, he said, You must go beyond yourself to treat that Woman better than you treat yourself.” He said, “You never let a day go by that you do not show Love even if it is simply an Embrace, a Kiss, a Touch.” He said, how you treat her will show her how much you love her, not just saying the words themselves.” From that day on, I considered my Pops to be the “Guru of Love”…lol. Looking back, maybe it was because he and my Grandmother shared a marriage of 55 Years and had 13 beautiful children. Maybe it was because I remember times when my Grandmother would come into the room and sit on his lap and they would kiss and he would whisper something in her ear, (they wouldn’t let me hear it though..lol) and she would smile ear to ear. I can remember when my Grandmother passed away,how heartbroken my Grandfather was. I can remember walking up with him to view her body at her “Going Home Celebration”. I can remember him looking down at her body, touching her hand with tears in his eyes and saying, ” I will always Love You Baby, We will see each other again.”

    As an adult, dating and being in relationships, I can honestly say, I have experienced True Love….Once. In my past, I learned the tough part about Love.(In my opinion) The tough part meaning: being in Love with a person doesn’t “necessarily” mean that you both are meant to be together. Sometimes, the only way to know that is working through the relationship. You are absolutely right as you mentioned earlier, it does take work.The one thing that I can say about Real Love is that once you are blessed to find it….Don’t ever let it go. Genuine Love nowadays is difficult to find. The feeling that you have someone at home whom you Love and who equally Loves you no matter what happens is an AWESOME feeling. Having someone that you can share your Joys with. Someone who shares in your pain. Someone who runs your bath water and brushes your hair. Someone who massages your body and rubs your feet after a long day. Someone who understands and accepts you for You and nothing more…nothing less. Someone who you can confide in, that you can depend on, that you can trust has your best interest at heart. Someone who accepts your good and your bad. Someone who accepts, understands and Loves you through your Good Days and Your Bad Days. (Everybody has ’em) Someone who accepts your Beautiful Qualities……as well as your Gracious Flaws. Someone who understands you when no one else quite does.. Someone who takes time to show you through words AND deeds, exactly how he feels about you. Someone who provides for you, protects and defends you,Why? Because this Special Man Loves you more than himself. Someone who wouldn’t think twice, but would lay down his life for you. Someone who unconditionally Loves you………………………………………………………………………………………………….Just for being You.

    (Sorry for the long winded read.)

    Talk to you Soon,

    Be Blessed,



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s