Going Through the Motions


So, anyone else feel this way besides me lately?

I mean I heard people reference ‘going through the motions’ but I really had to look that up and really understand what it means because I have been feeling this way for a good little minute now.

My life consist of 95% of me giving myself away. Either it is by ministry, church, work, friends/boyfriends, family, dance practice, travel. That other 5% I really long for because that is my ME time. Meaning, this is when I get to sleep, reflect, read my bible, pray, watch tv, cook… etc. That little 5% is just me… and rex. lol

So I feel like that is what I do… go to work, come home, go to a meeting, eat, come home, go to sleep, wake up, go to bible study, eat, come home, go to sleep, wake up, eat, practice, watch tv, go to sleep… just like this, every week. Every day. And it gets pretty annoying. Why? Because, it’s going through the motions everyday. Giving myself to everybody, because everybody want Amber to do this, Amber to be there, Amber to see, Amber to do… and I get so frustrate because I’m like, I wish I can have 1 day to just not go through any of the motions, and be free. Free to do whatever I wish to do.

I was speaking with someone and I told them ‘it is so draining to be  a person that is always pulled from.’ In the back of my mind it’s like, ‘well i have to make this, do this after this, go this place, meet them somewhere, then chill over here.” That is my life. It has to follow a schedule. I don’t do things spur of the minute anymore, because my days are already planned months in advance. You have to plan things with me now… strange. lol

But I just feel like I am going through the movements of life. I believe right now I am at a stand still waiting on the next phase of my life to start. What will it and what won’t it bring?

I don’t know. I feel this blog is going through the motions. LOL. Good night.

3 thoughts on “Going Through the Motions

  1. hoodyhill says:

    ..maybe if you trim down the amount of people you “do”, “chill” and “make things happen” for, you’ll allow room for what’s coming your way. Consolidate into a fewer amount, or one person, and you will not feel so drained. Get ready by preparing yourself for the change that you know is coming.

    • misszellner says:

      I see what you are saying. But I think that you are talking in 1 aspect of life. Just like 1 aspect of my life, having a boyfriend. Now I could say, ‘ok I will focus on my boyfriend and not entertain other dudes’. That’s not what im talking about. What I am talking about is ALL aspects of life. Like spending time so you can have healthy friendships, spending time to have healthy family relationships (not to mention spending time with BOTH mother and father and sisters and gramps). As for me, doing ministry work, is a category by itself. Then work. So If I cut down on one of the aspects of my life, something would be off balance, wouldn’t you agree??

  2. mrwrite4u says:

    I once heard a Motivational Speaker by the name of Jim Rohn (RIP) speak on this very same topic. Especially when we allow God to place us in certain roles. You mentioned Ministry, Church, Work, Friends etc…&…….. all of these roles require a great deal of your time personally as they all consist of roles in which you are “In Service” so to speak. Your decision to allow yourself to be instrumental in helping to advance the personal and spiritual growth of your peers is VERY COMMENDABLE on a personal level & I would definitely encourage you to continue in your personal and professional commitments however, I do understand that sometimes, we can go so above and beyond for others that we sometimes forget to address our personal needs. Truth is: It does happen and it is perfectly normal to feel frustrated because in all of that “Giving”…it sometimes feels as though you do not get that same dedication and commitment in return in any fashion. I definitely understand how you feel. Let me take this time to encourage you to continue in your efforts and applaud you for doing a job well done thus far. Keep up the Great Work!!!!!!

    Your Future is as Bright as Your Smile…..

    Be Blessed,

    Talk to you Soon,

    Mr. Write

    🙂

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