May I Random?


Whose Fault is it Anyway?

My feelings are this… if I told you once before that I have no preference in getting involved with you more than a friendship/acquaintanceship level, and persistence still continues, then I am no longer obligated to repeat myself. Especially when I told you once or twice before. To me, if a man still want to continue to persist in ‘their’ hopes of ‘winning me over’ then that is not my fault. I will assume further that any advancements, or actions that seem like advancements, are on a friendship type basis. There’s no reason for me to further explain my feelings or for me to assume that guys are making these gestures because they are in fact trying to get with me because we already established the basics. I do applaud persistence and perseverance. If you like something, want to do some things… by all means go for it! But I do not care for those who have ‘hidden agendas’ on me. So am I at fault for letting our friendship continue, or should I just decline any further advancements? Sometimes I just don’t know what to do. I am called ‘mean’ and ‘hard’ because I tell it like it is. But it seems to me people want flattery more than honesty! When I’m attracted to a person, there is a certain ‘it’ they have. And some don’t have that ‘it’, harshly to say. They don’t. And I can’t really explain the ‘it’ either. But it is a certain type of personality I look for now. So when I get the inkling inside of me telling me ‘no more than a friend’ I listen to it… but I guess I can enjoy the perks of friendship right? 

Listen to Me!

So have anyone ever had to talk with someone only for them to somehow tell their own similar story and turn completely the conversation around and it’s about them now. And it leaves you looking like… ‘Um’? Yes, I really hate that. Personally, If I come to you, that means I do put much weight on what you have to say, so apparently I do need some advice of some sort. But it almost always turn out the opposite, and you end up listening to their problems. That is why I don’t really hand out my situations to people anymore… because it’s like for what? And then you leave the conversation feeling empty and not fulfilled. The worst place to be when you really need a listening ear and real advice.


1 thought on “May I Random?”

  1. Amber, I really understand how you feel. Truthfully, it doesn’t surprise me that most really don’t consider this at all. As a Man, I must admit, we do make mistakes in the way we perceive things. It happens all too often. We meet a Beautiful Woman, we fall into a common mistake of pride, arrogance, and ego which gets in the way and clouds our judgement. By no means is this meant to provide an excuse, just a thought from a male perspective. In all fairness, I must admit that we both equally share a role in effectively communicating. This means old fashion sharing and listening. There is nothing wrong with being “Firm” and “Friendly” in your decision. Now some people may call it, “Mean” or “Hard” but what they think doesn’t really matter at this point. As long as you are being honest with yourself and you express this to the gentlemen(s) in question, you have done your due diligence in effectively communicating how you feel on this particular subject. As a Man, it is in his best interest to listen to you and to respect how you feel. As your friend, I stand by your decision NOT to re-visit your decision at any time is without question, but as a suggestion: Sometimes in extenuating circumstances (such as encountering the captivating Beauty in your eyes and your smile………………………………………..you may have to send out 2 reminders. 🙂

    Talk to you Soon,

    Be Blessed,

    Yours Truly,



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