The Onion

Did you ever wonder how onions formed? How does the onion gets its layers? I did some research and found it very necessary to seek how the bulb formation works.

The onion’s ‘bulbing’ (or growing) is largely influenced by high temperatures for which it is grown. At the core, the layers are small leaf scales that are already formed. Only when the leaves are exposed to the high temperatures and their sun light, they ‘bulb’ or bloom into the layer, thus getting ready for produce.


Why is this significant? I don’t know really.

But in a recent conversation, I referred to myself as an onion. Meaning, I have so many layers to my life, so many sides of me, so many walls up. And just like the onion, (after it has grown many layers) to get to the core, you have to peel layers gently OR you can just cut through the onion with a sharp knife. And as I reflect, I see myself as it, the onion. Life’s heat has built many many many layers over my core. Some of which I didn’t know what there, an wouldn’t know, until someone is tugging on it. And sometimes I get mad at myself. Because I feel like I stayed in lifes ‘heat’ way too long, thus doing this to my own self. I feel guilty sometimes for having so much baggage and so many issues to address. I wanted to share a facebook status one day to say ‘…staying in bad relationships will only bite you in the butt when the right one comes along…”. This is how I feel.

I keep coming back to bad relationships because that is an area of my life I screwed up my heart. Sometimes I feel like I can’t tell the real from the fake when it comes to men, and my vision is sometimes cloudy. But now, I feel like it only to my demise to have kept working at bad relationships, trying to make them good. Now, I’m being challenged to change aspects of my life I didn’t know was there. How would I know they weren’t there until I was challenged to change them? I don’t know.

There is a woman (who is one of the co-founders of Finding Eve Soul Café Christian Singles Ministry) who made me think long and hard when she told her story. She has been married for 9 years to a God fearing Christian man. But when they met, she admitted she was in ‘shambles’. She was messed up. Tow up. But had a mindset that she was a ‘good thing’. He didn’t give up on her, but challenged her mindset a little. And that is when she had a choice to either stay the same or be up for the challenge. This was in the beginning of her Christian walk. She accepted that she needed much work, and so many years later, she is now happily married with 1 child.

When I heard the quote “…real men understands the walls a woman has put up, and shatters them all…” I thought about men actually doing this. No this quote isn’t for the men who aren’t ready for lifetime commitment, I mean the men who are. If she is the one… wouldn’t it be a priority to make sure all of those layers are peeled and scars healed from the past, even though it genuinely might take longer than initially thought? It can be done. I know it did for the woman I just talked about.

Just a thought.




4 thoughts on “The Onion”

  1. ..take your time ..it can be done. Not everyone is willing to grow with someone ..understand the ups and downs of letting someone grow on their own ..and how to mix scenarios (cause it isn’t simple). That person who makes you the priority by patiently getting to know you, know your walls and does what they can to earn your trust to let those walls down ..will deserve your core. Keep growing and when you’re ready ..God will work it out ..He already has. Good read. –Randy

  2. Yes, you are absolutely correct. One of the most interesting and beautiful qualities of an Onion is in the development stage. Each Onion is unique as it develops in its own individual pattern, just like your fingerprints, each producing its own blueprints. As a admirer of Onions myself, I can appreciate your analogy. Another beautiful quality in an Onion is that in this unique blueprint, you will never find two onions that are formed exactly the same. In this respect, your development as a Beautiful and Strong Woman of Faith and Courage has been exactly that. It has been specifically designed and engineered for you. That is what makes you a unique and special Woman. There is no other Woman on the face of Gods marvelous planet that is of your genetic make up. No other Woman has Amber’s smile. No other Woman has that special Love and Affection that Amber has in her heart. No other Woman has been through the exact same circumstances as you have. Even if circumstances were similar, the impact that your experiences had in shaping your desires, expectations and your perception are unique to only you. Your PAST experiences which you describe as ‘baggage’ ultimately are simply that: PAST experiences. One thing about past experiences is that if used correctly, they have the ability to provide a blueprint to a much happier future. Why? Because at this point, you know what you like and what you dislike. It gives you a degree of control and empowers you to make wiser decisions in order to have a much more desirable outcome. We revisit experiences in the past, not to be burdened by them, but only to learn and develop new disciplines for the future. That is what Wisdom suggest. We simply use them to ultimately make better choices, not just in relationships, but in every aspect of our lives.

    Another beautiful quality that an Onion possesses is the distinct flavor when associated with any other form of food. Example: When you eat anything that has Onion in it, you recognize the flavor immediately. You may have to guess what the other ingredients are but not with Onions, right? In this same respect, you fit this category explicitly. Your distinct quality is one of Beauty and Strength, triumph and failure, wins and losses, all contributing to your personal development and spiritual growth. These qualities that you possess are so distinct to your personality and your charisma that it is unparallelled to any other Woman in the galaxy. The Beauty, Strength and Intelligence that are the ‘Sum’ of your genetic makeup simply cannot be reproduced. It is unique to you and only you.

    God ultimately knows exactly what you need and has your best interests at heart. Listening for his direction is most important. Sometimes, God chooses to withhold certain things from us until we are truly ready. Some people get angry and impatient because God does not provide what they have prayed for at the time when they want it. If God, in his infinite wisdom has withheld something, it must be a reason. I would suggest (in my opinion) that they ponder these questions. Would God send a Man/Woman after his own heart when HE fully knows that you will not Love, Appreciate, and Respect this ‘special one’ whom he has sent? Would God bless you with a Man/Woman after his own heart if God knows that in your heart and mind, you are not truly prepared (emotionally, mentally, spiritually etc.) to receive him? In God’s infinite Wisdom, HE may choose to make an executive decision to delay him/her until the time is right. Maybe there are emotional scars from previous relationships that need additional time to heal? Maybe God sees those scars as harmful to a union God is preparing? Maybe more time is needed for healing to take place? Maybe being in an intimate relationship is not what is best at this time? Maybe there have been trust issues? Maybe developing a friendship can help to heal and slowly re-establish trust? Maybe its not time to rush into anything? Maybe its time to simply take things slow? Just a few rhetorical questions……

    Ultimately, this form of self examination is very healthy. We realize that we are human and that we are all are in need of improvement in one way or another. This is simply human nature. The Wisdom and the courage is in the actions that one takes for improvement. This is a part of growing as a person. I definitely understand how you feel and I appreciate your courage in sharing you experiences. I definitely commend you in your personal and spiritual growth and I support and encourage you to continue.

    Sorry for the extended read…

    Be Blessed,

    Your Truly,



    1. I love what you said “We revisit experiences in the past, not to be burdened by them, but only to learn and develop new disciplines for the future. That is what Wisdom suggest. We simply use them to ultimately make better choices, not just in relationships, but in every aspect of our lives.” You know just what to say, and I thank you for this… ❤ Amber

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