One day years ago, I posted on Facebook something along the lines of people changing and glad I am the same person… blah blah blah. Then one of my friends from the first years of college politely inboxed me and was like “Amber, but you did change.”
I was taken back. And immediately wanted to tell her “uh, no I didn’t, You’re wrong.” As I recall, I didn’t say those words. I actually tried to see what she was talking about and why I supposedly ‘changed’. As she began to name reasons why, I looked back. And from what she was telling me, she was right. Our friendship was not like it was back then, and I had let a lot of things get in between that. I believe we all did, and kindly drifted into our own interest. But I know for one I didn’t keep up with her or my circle of friends then. I felt comfortable feeling ‘well they didn’t keep up with me either’, and it was like a silent mutual agreement between us. They went their way and I went mines.
But it didn’t negate the fact I thought about them from time to time. And even now with shifts in life, all of those I held close to me, I think about them from time to time. More importantly, what could I have done differently. When she said I changed, that has stuck with me.
But one thing I didn’t do was rebut her. I didn’t say “You don’t know what you are talking about, I didn’t change. Matter of fact, you did!” You know how we do…we get offended at what people say if we deem it not true, or if we deem it having any negative connotation to it. We think of ourselves in the highest regard. For us, it is hard to look at our self and see what needs to be changed. It’s hard for us to stand to be corrected when we think we are flawless. It’s also hard for us to accept what another says about the way we do things because we think we know the best way to do it. But I heard long ago “It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows. You can try to reach but u can’t expect to save everybody.”
When someone is on the outside looking in, they have a totally different perception of what you might think you are doing. For instance, if you go away from the argument mad, arms crossed and a frown, but telling everyone ‘I’m fine!’, clearly you aren’t because the perception you are giving off indicates something other.
What people fail to realize is standing corrected puts you at a place for self-growth and humbleness. Although, and it happened to me plenty of times, it may feel embarrassing and it may put you in a bad mood, but in the end, you are so much better off than you were before. Plenty of times, there have been people that told me “Amber, you shouldn’t have done that” or “Yeah, that wasn’t a good move”. And though in the moment I thought I was right, hindsight is much clearer. (Beware: correction should come from someone, or something (like the bible) that you respect. That you know they wouldn’t steer you in the wrong direction and that you completely trust to build and help grow your soul.)
I found a couple of bible verses about correction and correcting someone, which are below. Note that correcting and condemning are two TOTALLY different areans. We, as believers walking in Christ, should never ‘condemn’ someone of doing what we think they ought to be doing in our eyes. We should always see the best in people, and always have a gentle spirit. I suggest to pray as you go before someone to correct them. Likewise, pray when you get correction. Reflect on what was said before the negativity comes in. And listen to what God is saying.
*GOD’S Word Translation*
Proverbs 19:20 “Listen to advice and accept correction, and in the end you will be wise. “
Proverbs 29:15 “A spanking (correction) and a warning produce wisdom…”
Proverbs 15:32 “Whoever ignores discipline despises himself, but the person who listens to warning gains understanding.”
Hebrews 12:11 “We don’t enjoy being disciplined. It always seems to cause more pain than joy. But later on, those who learn from that discipline have peace that comes from doing what is right.”
2 Timothy 4:2 “Be ready to spread the word whether or not the time is right. Point out errors, warn people, and encourage them. Be very patient when you teach.”
2 Timothy 3:16 “Every Scripture passage is inspired by God. All of them are useful for teaching, pointing out errors, correcting people, and training them for a life that has God’s approval.”
To be honest, I learned that God speaks through people to get to me. Sometimes discerning His voice is hard, so as a confirmation, He might send someone to re-iterate what He is trying to tell me. His correction.
Have a great Friday!