Where I work, there is a lot of communicating: through phone, email, fax, scan and even through snail mail. The other day, I emailed one of my suppliers in Boston about a receipt that I didn’t receive. And his response was “Yeah I sent it the other day, but, I will resend it to you in the morning.”
That BUT killed me. As I looked at the email I had said to myself very modest: given the fact, apparently I didn’t get the receipt, there is no need to even say he sent it. Right? I mean by him saying he sent it, does that mean it will automatically appear to my fax? I just shook my head.
Now I could have taken it further, and prolonged an unnecessary email chain, but when I did receive it I replied “Thanks, received. My apologies for not receiving it the first time.”
My pastor says from time to time “The BUT erases everything said previously said.” So how much breath (literally lol) we save by not even saying some things. Like his sentence should have been “Yeah I sent it the other day, but, No problem, I will resend it to you in the morning.” See how much more pleasant that sounds to the other person?
As humans, we definitely have that urge to correct someone, don’t we? Even when we are right, technically.Like, we know we are right, we know what we did was right, did everything according to the book and according to our knowledge of what would be done and how it should be done. But when someone calls us wrong, it does make us feel a certain type of way, doesn’t it?
Yes, it does. And I know I am guilty of it sometimes. It’s really not a good feeling at all. So, our human reaction is to, indeed, speak back with the ‘matter of fact’ bad attitude, speaking in such a way to correct the one person and prove them wrong.
But we have all heard the saying, “Silence is Golden.” I’ve learned, as I grow more and more in Christ, the Christian walk is really about serving others instead of yourself. So when speaking, we really have to be careful how we come across to others, more than trying to get our point across, yes, even when we feel and know, we are definitely right in a situation.
As believers, we just can’t do a lot of things we want to do, even when we feel we are justified to. We just simply can’t. No explanation on it. Some things are very much tiny, (IE: the example given) but still, some things are better left unsaid because they are miniature to the bigger picture. Plus, God honors what you don’t say, because that is a sacrifice of yourself (your feelings) for someone else. Plus this is also a good time to pray for yourself and for the other person. Pray for justification, pray for understanding and pray for peace.
So we should think about what we are about to say. In a recent bible study with my boyfriend, we had a great topic called Reciprocating Grace. In it, we learned and spoke about how to reciprocate and reflect grace to others. One point I mentioned was we can do this through even our words and actions towards others. In the New Life Version of Colossians 4:6 it says: “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” Logically speaking, get your point across in a way it don’t offend others. When you know you are right, and justified, then that alone should be enough to justify you, not trying to prove you are right to the other person.
But if we are indeed wrong in any given circumstance or situation, and someone corrects us, then Stand to be Corrected.
(DISCLAIMER: Even though their correction might not be ‘seasoned’ and does come off as ‘matter of factly’, still be able to stand corrected the right way. God honors this too!) We are to exude His responses to all situations and circumstances, the giving and receiving end, even when it is not extended to us.
Have a happy Friday!