Perception


“Life is hard!” ~ Says the middle class blue collar worker. “I make ends meet with my bills, but not enough left over to enjoy life. I have 2 kids, making miminum wage with my wife, who is also making $2000 a month! Bills won’t allow me to go out, take her to the movies, go on a vacation or even eat out once in a while. I thrive off of noodles every lunch, and sometimes skip down to 2 meals instead of 3. Everyone is pulling the life out of me, taking taking taking…. But not replenishing… me. I get down on my knees and cry to God every night, asking why this is the life He has for me. I need a huge break in life!”

“Life is hard!” ~ Says the beggar. “I walk to my normal spot by the highway each day to ask for change to purchase me a bottle of water and a 2 piece meal. I sometimes don’t get that each day, but I try. People drive by me as if I am a drug addict. I mean I was, but they have money. They have money… I don’t. They have a job. They can give me a dollar. But they don’t. I don’t know where I’m going to sleep tonight. Don’t have no where for shelter in thunderstorms, so I just sit, and put my head in between my legs under a piece of cardboard. I just need two dollars!”

“Life is hard!” ~ Says the congressman. “My wife left me 6 months ago and going through a divorce. She is trying to take half of my thousands of dollars! I work, work, work all day and come home to an empty place at night. The women I have flings with are just that, flings. I miss my wife, and I want her with me. My kids I see every other weekend, we go shopping and out to eat, but they leave me on Sundays, and again, I am alone. Alone. They said money can’t buy happiness, and they were sure right! I just want to be a family again.”

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Perception and normalcy is everything when it comes to comparing anything. You can’t expect each of those individuals above to see eye to eye and agree what is hard to them, because they life 3 different lifestyles.

Sorry to quote TI, but he said “…in order to understand my train of thoughts, You’ll have to put yourself in my position.  You can’t expect me to think like you, ‘Cause my life ain’t like yours…”

True.

We all know about the glass that is filled with water halfway. A person (who was brought up in an environment where they received everything they ever wanted in life, and never heard ‘no’ before) might say the glass is half empty. But to another (who experienced the bare minimum growing up, didn’t really have the ‘luxuries’ of going out to eat at restaurants, and didn’t really have birthday parties) might look at the glass half full. But the fact still remains the same, the glass is filled halfway with water.

So who is right and who is wrong, based on their perception?

I believe this is one of the things that brings miscommunication in all relationships we have: boyfriend, girlfriend. Mother, son. Father, daughter. Friend, friend. When something is outside of our ‘normal’ we make that scrunched up face and ask why they doing it THAT way? When people tend to butt heads, that is when their normal and perception kicks in, arguing to be right based on what they perceive as right in their eyes.

True story. I have told people that I grew up where we didn’t really say ‘Good Morning’ like that. So when I started at my job, I used to come in and walk past people straight to my desk, no words. Just walk. Then one day someone told me (after we became cool) “you was rude! You walked by all of us and never said Good morning! That’s rude Amber.” And I had to pause and really be like for real? But I had to think about it, and realized it was kinda rude. So I had to unlearn what I was used to, to be more polite. And since that day, I came in with a Good morning until it became a habit. But on her end, her perception was when you come in anywhere, you speak. So she couldn’t fault me, and I couldn’t fault her.

Another instance where my mom was brought up in the 1950’s and she was raised a certain way. Now her children has children, and she may not agree on their standards of ‘raising’. It’s funny to me because I’m saying the times have changed, and it is not the 1950’s or 60’s anymore! But alone I cannot fault her because that is her ‘normal’ and standards in raising a child.

Our second nature is very hard to unlearn, but we must do if we want to have a personal, shoot or even professional, relationship with anyone. How we think things should go based on our life’s perception should be let go, so relationships can become a lot smoother.

“Our perceptions have the incredible power to distort our circumstances so that they align with what we already believe.” ~ Blogger Jeremy Binns

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