Sometimes I’m really afraid when I question God. I ask Him “Why?” sometimes and deep inside of me I get this feeling as if I shouldn’t be asking Him any questions really… ha ha. As you recall in my blog His Will, I said it is so selfish of me to question God’s authority over my life! Like how dare I? As my mama would say I can’t believe I had the audacity to tune my mouth up to a silly question. But God understands. He only made my very being. So, it’s no surprise to Him when I ask, but I bet He’s thinking why don’t you still trust Me my child?
I was in bible study one night and we were talking about testimony. What is a testimony? What’s your testimony? And I began to reflect on the sequence of events in my life. I understand of course, it’s building my GRAND testimony. I mean how many times a girl can really go through heartache? So I reflect on all the things that happened to me… and then I begin to think about my sisters. By this age, all my sisters have found their ‘love’. They found their man. They had their husband. And I’m flirting with 30, and there is still no one in sight! And when I questioned God, like why am I odd? Why can’t I get it right? Why must I go through this? Why I can’t get anyone to stay? Why the men I love have to leave? And I think one day, I asked that question one too many times. He revealed:
Did I not choose you? Your mom even told you from the womb, that You were going to be her best child. You are the one I specifically said to do my work. Why? Because of what I already put on the inside of you. You have strength, beyond what you think you are capable of. You have something unique about you. You have a fight in you that would (and can) take someone out. What you been through, someone would have already given up, even one of your sisters. Some people in your same shoes have given up, lost hope, and now they are lost sheep needing to find their way back to me. But not you. And so as much as I don’t want to hurt you, all the pain you felt in the past is building you for the path I laid out of you to do my work. Don’t worry.
Yikes! Ok God. You got it. I’m going to leave it alone! I mean, the subtle tone He had… and words with power! I felt a little better after whining to my Father.
Some people were just not made to go through what you’re going through, or will have to go through. PERIOD. So I see God picking and choosing those… who can be more influential than others to be true spreaders of the gospel. He calls everyone to be re-born, but few of these called are actually chosen by Him. So He builds in them honesty, integrity, a heart of compassion and strength through what He allows as our experience. With these characteristics, He makes you His own masterpiece. He then trust you with the assignments He’s specifically given to you. When He chooses you, that’s a calling on your life that you can’t run from, maybe delay, but can’t run from. The saying holds true, He never puts more on you than you can bear. So if you are bearing it, it means you have that much strength in you. Isn’t that amazing that God thinks THAT much about you?! You can’t carry out God’s plan if He doesn’t trust you with what He’s called you to do. That’s why some test (development of character) come.
In a quick 20 minute intercept from a TD Jakes sermon entitled The Conflict of Being Chosen, Bishop Jakes hit the nail on the head in regards to the WHY of being chosen. I encourage you to listen!
Be blessed, knowing that you are God’s VIP! This road is not for the weak or the faint at heart… it’s for the real disciples of Christ to birth and to carry out His plan!