I have told the singles in our singles ministry from time to time “you have to wait to see true characteristics of a person”.
When you’re dating, or even creating a friendship with another, that persons representative meets you first. You meet the charm, the good looks, the wit, the smooth talker and the glitz and glam. You meet that person first. And, in essence, you are also that person first. It’s not surprising, you always want to put on a good impression when you first meet someone, or when you start to date someone. However, slowly, but surely, their real personality emerges, but you have to wait on it.
God showed me the analogy recently as I began to start my new job. The first and second week was learning the ropes under my Director and other staff members. In the beginning, work personalities were present. But as time went on, everyone became more lax and their real personalities started to show over the work personalities. I was able to see the types of people I am in company with everyday. Everyone has different personalities that make the workplace what it is. I was able to see who was the gossip, who had Jesus in their life, who loved to eat, who loved to laugh, who was the most talkative, who was the quiet one, who was the most serious, who was not serious and so forth.
And all the more, I encourage singles to wait on it. Wait on the representative to fade and wait for the real personality to show up. You will see 1) patterns 2) consistency and 3) inconsistency all in a matter of time. There is a blessing in waiting. I believe this is one of the ways God shows you who a person is, what’s in their heart and what’s really on their mind. Sometimes it’s more than a month of waiting, more than two – sometimes more than five. This is why I always urge start a friendship before starting a relationship. This decreases 1) heartbreak and 2) creating attraction too soon. Most times people come into our lives for a purpose other than being our mate. Divine connections happen all the time, and sometimes they are members of the opposite sex. Don’t think every man or every woman that comes into your life is “the one”.
Use Discernment. The Holy Spirit is here to help the people of God.
Friend zone some people.
Take your time.
When it’s God, time is on your side.